Here’s what to do after a breakup to let yourself heal and move on.
1. Be grateful for everything else in your life.
When you wake up, stop your thoughts in their tracks and turn the “OMG, how will I live without them?” thoughts into “I’m grateful for the life I achieved without them” thoughts. Then, say at least five things you’re grateful for. You’ll feel better, guaranteed.
2. Cut off all contact.
You don’t have to cut them out or go silent forever, but if the romantic relationship is really over, let it be over. You’re going to need to re-balance and re-enter your own life as a single person. Besides, let’s be realistic — unless two people sit down and both agree they want out of a romantic relationship, someone is likely hurt and longing for more.
Asking them to hop into the friend zone immediately (or expecting this of yourself) is really unfair. It could also create scenarios that make a real friendship impossible down the line.
3. Allow yourself to grieve.
The idea that being vulnerable and emotional is a sign of weakness is a fallacy. The truth is that a loss of someone you love (and the future you had envisioned with them) is really hard. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgment and move through it at a reasonable pace that feels right to you.
While you don’t want to get stuck in a depressive state, pushing yourself to “get over it” won’t do you any favors either.
4. Go on, bawl your eyes out.
Breakups are stressful and research has shown that emotional tears carry stress hormones in them. Toss on Adele for a night and get that sh*t OUT of you. Better to let them pour than to have them seeping out of you at awkward, random times (at your desk, on the subway, on your first post break-up date).
5. Remember that these feelings are temporary.
You may not believe it, but you will get through this. This isn’t your first heartbreak and I’m sorry to say that it may not be your last. We all go through highs and lows in life and if he or she were really your “great love” they wouldn’t be able to walk away.
6. Don’t send him long-winded emails or text messages, drunk or sober.
Write them out and delete them, or send them to a trusted friend and talk about it. You’re likely feeling quite a few conflicting emotions and sending them all in real time will only help you lose credibility.